A note from the author:

This is love story. If you want a sex story with a moneyshot, this story is not it. If you want emotion, then keep reading. Sure, there is sex involved, but it is secondary.

A good song can dredge up emotions and this song is one I had forgotten about from the days when MTV actually played music videos all day long. When I heard it the other day for the first time in years it transported me to a time when I was innocent, young and in what I thought was love- I instantly knew all of the lyrics and saw those ancient memories. And dreams.

I hope you enjoy and this takes you back to your innocence as well. Credit for the song belongs with Dennis DeYoung. The memories come from "Diana"...

Thanks and enjoy,

Brad

********************************

Present Day, April 1992

It was a somber day in Omaha. The early April rainstorm might as well have been snow, which may have been warmer, or at least would not have soaked my uniform quite as much.

2 days earlier I had been In Washington D.C. saying goodbye to a friend. I didn't actually see him or talk to him, but I know he knew I was there, resting in Arlington National Cemetary. My heart and mood were heavy as I took a bus to the airport and caught a "military hop" to Offutt Air Force Base near Omaha. Flying military standby was cheap if you were willing to wait, and Uncle Sam may have been giving me 30 days off, but he wasn't paying for my comfort. So when I landed in Bellevue near Omaha it meant another bus into Omaha for a regional train ride back to Des Moines, then catching a ride "home".

If only that was possible. To go back home...

"Is this the train to Desert Moon?" a lovely yet sad female voice asked.

I knew I had heard her voice before- in a large world, that voice was no stranger's. But the odds of us both being HERE at exactly the same time were astronomical. I turned around to see where it had come from. There stood a lonely girl, soaking wet, head down to keep the rain out of her eyes. Long brown hair plastered to her head and shoulders. She was holding an umbrella that had seen better days. She also had a small, hard suitcase that was only in slightly better shape than the umbrella.

"Diana?" I asked, confused, saddened, excited. And hopeful.

"Brad? Is that really you?" she asked.

I dropped my duffle in a pool of water and went to her for a hug. THIS was my first love. Okay, my ONLY love. Diana- fellow lifeguard, classmate, friend and one time lover. She was the Gold Standard that all others would be measured against. And all others would fall short.

Diana held back in our hug, but showed me a glimpse of that smile I loved. That smile that got me through so many endless nights at Fort Benning. And in Saudi Arabia, and eventually Iraq.

"It's really nice to see you, Brad. Where are you headed?"

"Home, for 30 days, or maybe longer. I have reenlistment papers in my bag but I don't know if I will sign them. I will either find something else to do as a civilian, or go to a Ranger Battalion as a sergeant. Rumor is, we may be headed to Africa if I stay in," I said.

"That sounds, um, nice I guess," she said.

Nice? Not really. If I stayed in the army I would end up in Somalia. Unless Diana wanted to change that, the Army was my home. My future depended on how the next few minutes went.

"Wanna go inside, out of the rain and grab a drink?"

"I don't drink anymore. Not since..."

"Me neither, but I saw a Coke sign," I added.

We found a table. The train station was not too busy, and the waiter served us flat Coca-Cola in tiny paper cups. Hopefully the conversation would prove to be better than the table service.

It wasn't. We stumbled over words and topics that needed to be talked about, but still couldn't find the right things to say. We each avoided the words the other needed to hear. I asked about college, but she went a semester late and dropped out shortly thereafter. Too much hospital time and too many memories haunted her mind.

All of a sudden a whistle cried out into the dark night, stealing the silence away from us, announcing the departure of the last train of the day headed east and eventually towards what we once had called home.

A town that had a country club called Desert Moon. A place that held special significance to so many of us and changed Diana and me forever...

***************************

Summer, 1989, Desert Moon Country Club

I had been a lifeguard the previous 3 summers and would enjoy one last summer doing the same job with my best friend Danny, his love interest Tina, and my love interest Diana. I had been a shy kid and was not good about getting the girl. Until this summer, I had been a scrawny, pimply boy but this year I seemed to have grown up and filled out. Men don't "blossom", we "fill out" and women "blossom", and Diana had blossomed from a skinny, shy girl into a woman that any red-blooded American boy (or man) would gawk at while she was on the lifeguard chair. Diana was going to Iowa State University in the fall. I had been accepted but didn't know that college was my thing. Diana was my new thing, but college? There was a whole, huge world waiting to be conquered. Oh, what it was like to be young and full of dreams!

Danny and Tina would probably end up getting pregnant and getting married. We came from similar working class backgrounds and had all been friends for years, but this school year we had all been inseparable and didn't want to think about what we would do in a couple of months if and when we went off in different directions.

All four of us taught swimming lessons, but I also caddied at the attached golf course. People sometimes walked the golf course because not everyone had a golf cart. But most of those people didn't want to have to carry their clubs. I was not the Course Pro- That was David Taylor, a 38 year old guy who once played in a Pro-Am tournament as the amateur. He was good, but I figured I could beat him at least 3 days a week so I was also a popular caddy. Dave knew it, and we had become good friends. So good that he showed me where the key to the locked beer cooler was.

A typical day for me was to wake up around 8, teach lessons from 9 till noon, and if I wasn't on the lifeguarding schedule, I would golf or caddy. Around either 6pm or 9pm when the pool finally closed for the evening, the four of us would go out to a movie, or to dinner. Or to one of our houses if our parents were gone.

It was one of those nights that Diana and I first made love...

She had resisted and tempted me long enough, and finally on the Fourth of July her parents were gone on vacation.

Danny and Tina were having sex anywhere and everywhere, and unbeknownst to me Tina had been pressuring Di to "join the club".

The pool and golf course closed at 5pm on the 4th for a private party, and Di and I had nothing to do, and she told me that it "was time".

"Time? Time for what?" I asked. Dense, hopeful but still innocent.

"Time for us...to...um, don't make me say it, please. Don't make me ask. I'm nervous, but..."

"You mean? You want to...? Are you sure?" I asked, hopeful and instantly ready for business.

"Yes," she said in a small voice, as she took my hand and led me to her room.

Her room had pink curtains and teddy bears and posters of 80's boy bands. The window was open, letting a soft breeze float in. She had red scarves over the two bedside lamps in her room, and about 6 candles fluttered in the breeze. 2 candles had ready blown out. Despite the outside temp being low 90s, we both shivered with anticipation.

"Brad, I love you, and even if you won't follow me to college, I want to share this with the one boy that has turned into a man I love," she said, as she leaned in, placing her forearms on my chest and stroking it.

I was too young and excited to understand slow and steady, so I instantly went in for the kill. I kissed her hard and tore at her clothes, trying to touch any bare skin I could. If I wanted bare skin, the tank top with spaghetti straps gave me excellent access to her bare shoulders and back, but I was a hungry 18 year old boy, just handed the keys to Magnum P.I.'s Ferrari. I wanted to stomp and the gas and go go go!

I barely remember putting the condom on and entering her, causing her pain in the process, but I was happy. I was no longer a virgin.

Later that night, we did it again, this time forgetting the condom.

The second time that night was much better. No condom, skin on skin, slow, steady. Orgasmic. Wonderful. The feel of her body quivering around my dick and she came, causing me to empty myself inside her. The glow she had. This time she cried for joy and we professed our undying love to each other.

***********************

2 weeks later became what I refer to as "The Night". It was almost 11pm, and Diana and I had snuck onto the golf course and made love on the Number 5 green. She loved the soft, dewey feel of the fine green grass on her back as I thrust into her. I loved how she felt around me, pulling me in with her legs, and on the Number 5 green, we were so far away from anything she had no reservations about screaming my name in pleasure.

We went back to the pool where Danny and Tina had just had sex in the pool, and they all asked me to get some beer from the locked beer cooler.

I did. And that decision changed everything.

Danny was driving and Tina was playing around with his lap. Diana and I were making out in the back seat. I had one hand up her shirt and her bra was off somewhere in the back seat and the other hand was working its way into her swimsuit bottoms.

We had no idea what happened as Danny flew off the road. Tina was killed instantly, neck broken by the steering wheel. Danny eventually bled out as the first responders arrived. Diana was thrown from the car, hurt, but alive. Somehow, I was unscathed. I walked over a mile to the west to a house. Had I walked a quarter mile east I would have seen a house and maybe Danny would have lived.

Diana spent a couple of weeks in a coma, but I was not there when she woke up.

I don't know if it was my lawyer, the judge, or who, but Lady Justice worked fast. I was arraigned for possession of alcohol and leaving the scene of an accident. It was obvious that Danny had been driving, but 2 kids were dead, one in critical condition, and as soon as I was medically cleared, I was allowed to stay behind and face whatever "justice" they could make stick, or join the military.

I had heard the call of the ocean, but the Navy and by extension the Marines didn't want me, so the Army took me, and a week and a day after "The Night" I was standing in formation in Georgia, head shaved and getting yelled at by some drill sergeant.

The Army became my purgatory. I found myself in Germany, then Saudi Arabia and eventually as far into Iraq as any American where I saw more death than I care to talk about. Most was done by the Air Force but I had a direct hand in much of it as well.

But I had never forgotten about Diana. How she had loved me, but last I knew, her parents hated me. Blamed me for everything that had happened because I was "lucky" enough to walk away. The fact that part of my innocence, and all of my dreams had died that night along with Tina and Danny didn't matter.

Iraq killed the new dreams I had.

Seeing Diana resurrected some of them.

***************************

Present Day, April 1992

"Diana, don't miss the train! You are going home, aren't you?" I asked.

"Yes, but 'home' is Chicago now, Brad."

"Chicago?"

"Yes, too many bad memories back home," she said.

"Are there any good memories?" I asked, pain in my voice.

"Yes. On certain days. Sometimes I feel the cool grass and think back to those nights. Or the number 5 still makes me smile," she added, a small smile curling her lips.

"I love to see you smile, Diana," I said. I was able to smile a little myself.

"But Desert Moon reminds me of my two friends who died and the one best friend who is gone. In some ways, he died that night, too, and I want to live."

"Do you think you will ever find him?" I asked. "He's alive, but barely recognizable," I said.

"I hope so. God, I hope so. I pray for it every night," she said.

"Have you ever..." my voice trailed off. It was an open ended question with lots of endings. She could pick the one she wanted to answer.

"Not since The Night. I hope I find those two dreamers again." With that. she stepped forward and kissed me and handed me a napkin with her number and address on it. Hopefully the rain wouldn't ruin it.

"It was great seeing you again, Brad. Call me if you run into that dreamer. If you find him, maybe he can find me."

With that, the whistle screamed at us one more time, and she disappeared.

Leaving me to catch a train...

*******************************

"So what do you plan to do?" Jack, my younger brother said as we rode home in his car.

"I don't know. I have seen so much death and sadness. I want to live," I said, looking out the window, staring unfocused at absolutely nothing.

"Are you going to look for her?"

"I think I have to," I said. "You are the smart one, what do you think?"

"Her parents have maybe forgiven you-"

"But I wasn't driving!" I protested.

"But you walked away. And Mom and Dad will want you see you," he said.

I looked at the phone number and address. The rain had smudged it, but I could make out most of the numbers. "I need a change of clothes and another train ticket," I decided.

"Chicago?" he asked. Actually it was more of a statement and an affirmation.

"Chicago." I said. "Chicago and Diana instead of Somalia and the Army."

With that, a dream was reborn...